


Shattering of the Heart

by AngelandCollins



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 13:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3328529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelandCollins/pseuds/AngelandCollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you say when the person who broke your heart comes back for a 'talk'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattering of the Heart

Coming home to an empty apartment always leaves a pit in my stomach and I was not looking forwards to it. My roommate was away, spending the weekend with her family a state over. I scrubbed a hand over my tired face as I walk into my building. Work had been brutal and all I wanted to do was crash in my bed and not think. I still had my headphones in, so the door man, Roger, didn’t say anything but gave me a weird, almost smug face that said ‘I-know-something-you-don’t.’ I raised an eyebrow, but didn’t feel like questioning it, so I just kept walking, trudging up the stairs.

I got to my floor, and saw immediately stopped at the end of the hall. Someone was sitting in front of my door. He or she had a hoodie and jeans on, with the hood up, covering their face. I approached wearily, holing my keys as a weapon and hoping it was some crazy person again. I had more than my fair share of crazies and I was not in the mood. The person obviously heard me shuffling towards them, because they looked up and their hood fell off. A male face, with familiar brown eyes and tousled blond hair looked at me, wide eyed. All of the air got sucked out of my lungs. 

I froze and managed to choke out “What are you doing here?” He looked at me, pained, the eyes that had once ensnared me searching mine. His hair glowed like a halo in the fluorescent lighting, but I knew better. He was no angel. “We need to talk…” He said quietly. The air between us was tense and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I pinched the bridge of my nose and moved to open my door. I didn’t want to talk to him, not in my apartment. I needed to make a fast decision. “I’m only here for, a bit, to change… I’m heading right back out.” I stepped inside and he followed me, biting his lip. He licks them and asks “Where will you be going?” He tone is curious but it still makes me stiffen a bit. I sigh and say “Just to a café…” He stands awkwardly in the doorway, not moving farther into my flat, which is good. I flick on a light and start to move to my bedroom. “Okay… I’ll come with you. Please? We really need to talk.” I scrub my face again, a headache staring to form behind my eyes and my shoulders still tense. “Fine.” I say tightly “Wait there while I change.”

I change into comfortable clothing, simple jeans and a sweater, throwing my favorite beanie on. My short hair has its perks, but doesn’t keep my head as warm, now that it was slowly turning to autumn. I walk back out and grab my keys and coat, refusing to look at him. He follows me out as I lock the door and walk out of my building. The silence grows as we walk down the street. It was dark out and autumn was in full thrust. I was clutching my coat tighter around me, remembering a time when I would have just leaned into the warmth of his body, warming my chilled fingers. I immediately stopped myself from going any further into my memories. If I was going to get through whatever he needed to talk to me about, I knew I had to be neutral. 

We finally get to my favorite little café and we walk in, the silence still thick and heavy. Thankfully there didn’t seem to be many people and I go snag my favorite table in the back. I sat in my favorite chair and he sits across from me. “So how are you?” He asks quietly. I ignore him. I still wasn’t ready to talk to him. He tried again. “How’s that… music thing going?” He waved his hands in the air. My eyes snap to his and I glare. That ‘music thing’ was my dream. I had been working on perfecting my skills on guitar, bass, drums and vocals for the better part of my life and I was so close, and the fact that he dismissed it, like he always did, made my skin crawl. I was about to open my mouth to tell him off, but a waiter appeared. 

We order, me some lemon tea and him a black coffee. He smirks at me and quietly mummers “I guess your beverage choice hasn’t change…” I don’t even grace him with an answer. He sighs and we wait for our order to come. It was a long couple minutes. I picked at my nails and focused my attention anywhere but him. He kept trying to catch my eye and he kept asking small questions that seemed too personal. Stuff like how my sister was doing and if I still had a cat and if I had anyone new in my life. I answer with clipped one worded sentences, and the tension mounts and slips us into silence. Our order finally comes and we sip in silence until he sighs and says “Come on Al, will you please just talk to me?” The nickname makes my shoulders stiffen again.

I set my cup down and glare at him. “What, exactly, do you want Seth?” I practically spit at him. He leans back into his chair and says “We used to be able to talk about anything, and now this is the most you’ve spoken to me in months. And even then we aren’t really talking!” I clench my hands into fists, not trusting myself to speak. He looks at me again with big brown eyes and says, “Please, talk to me… we need to move past this.” I clench my jaw slightly before hissing “Move past what? You’re then one who fucking broke me and left me to rot.” I take an angry sip of my tea, the heat burning my tongue and sliding down my throat. 

He takes a deep breath, but says nothing, and that just infuriates me more. He doesn’t even have the gall to own up to what he did. He wants to talk, but can’t even look me in the eyes. And that makes me snap. I glare at him and say “You think you can just waltz back into my life and we can just talk like nothing happened? That’s not how it works Seth. You hurt me and I’m not exactly over that. You really fucking hurt me.” I laugh cynically and say “You know it’s not even that you left me for another woman.” It’s getting harder and harder to swallow and I feel close to tears. I clench my teeth and continue. “It’s the fact that you said you loved me. You said you wanted to marry me. And then one day, that just wasn’t true anymore. No warning, no foreshadowing. Just, bam, dropped like a hot fucking potato.” 

I stop, swallowing past the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to cry, not in front of him. “I gave you fucking everything. I gave you my heart, I gave you my body and I gave you my soul. I gave you every fucking thing I had and you just threw that back in my face!” I feel the tears start to spill over, so I turn away as fast as I can, whipping at them. He stares at me, arms crossed, still as a statue. I take another sip of my now cold tea, trying to clear my throat. I lick my lips and look at my hands and quietly say “Did I mean anything to you?” 

He sighs and leans forwards. “Of course you did. You still do.” But he won’t look me in the face when he says it. I just stare at him, my eyes welling up with tears, again. “Look,” He says quietly “The reason I wanted to talk to you is to say that I think I’m going to leave Eliza.” And suddenly I realize what this is all about. It hits me like a ton of bricks and I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry or vomit. I hold up my hand to stop him and stare at him incredulously before barking out “You think you still might have a chance with me, don’t you?” He looks uncomfortable, and shifts in his seat not looking me in the face. “Seth, fucking look at me. You think that if you leave Eliza that I’m going to take you back? Am I right or wrong?” He looks at me for a second, before dropping his head and shrugging. I laugh, a little manically. He looks up at me sharply. “What? You don’t think we have a chance to work?” My laughter immediately stops and I stare at him, completely and utterly shocked.

I lean forward as far as I can, getting up into his face. “You think you can dump the girl you left me for and I’ll just accept you with open arms, no questions asked?” He swallows, his eyes going big. I stare at him, and the lump is back in full force. I sit back and said “I thought you were it for me. We were together for three fucking years. And then you left, and I pinned after you for months! You left a fucking gaping wound in my heart, and now you expect me to act like nothing happened!?” Suddenly I was pissed. All I could see was red and I can feel my face going red with the rage bubbling up inside me. “Fuck you Seth! You fucking hurt me. For months I was a fucking wreck. I lost my job and almost my place. I’ve only just gotten on my feet again and then you come strolling back like nothing? Fuck you, just fuck you, you dick! How fucking dare you!” 

Even though I was angry I couldn’t stop shaking and feeling like I wanted to cry. I wrap my arms around my middle, trying to hold in the sobs that where now threatening to take over. Tears are flowing like rivers down my cheeks and I don’t even bother trying to wipe them away. I stand up, gritting my teeth. “I don’t want to see you again, do you hear me?” I turn to walk away when he grabs my wrist “Al, wait!” He sounds pained, but it sounds fake. I whip around and pull my arm free. “No!” I shout “No, don’t you fucking touch me. Don’t you fucking dare, you piece of shit!” I grab my coat and walk to the door. I turn before I open it and say “You don’t even deserve Eliza.”

I storm out into the cold and turn into an ally before breaking down into sobs. My heart throbbed, and it felt like it had on the night he left all over again. I punched the brick wall of the ally until my knuckles were bleeding, before slowly sinking down and sobbing into my hands. The sad part was, there was a part of me that still loved him, that wanted him back with a desperate need. That thought only made me cry harder. I wanted to rip my heart out of my chest, anything to stop the pain. I don’t know how long I sat there, before I made myself get up and trudged home.

I collapsed into my bed, exhausted. I wanted to hate Eliza for taking Seth from me. She was pretty and smart and kind. But I couldn’t hate her. She had been nothing but nice to me the few times I had met her when Seth and I were together. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t hate Seth either. I still loved him. I was hurt and I felt like I was shattered into a million pieces, but I couldn’t hate him. Silent tears rolled down my face. I buried my head into my pillow and cried until I fell asleep.


End file.
